Bedroom Hiring Practices

Unelected Professional-Shopper Deserves Tax-Funded Sponsorship to Pursue Her Dreams and Interests In a recent Globe and Mail article in which white-knight John Fraser rushed like a hunch-backed sycophant to Sophie Trudeau’s rescue (from the justified outrage and rational opposition of tax-paying Canadians responding to her petition for help), Fraser argued: “We did kind of elect [Sophie], didn’t we?” In short, no we didn’t. There was no indication in October 2015 that a Liberal Party win would mean Claire and Frank Unqualified would be running Canada into the ground as a team. Just imagine: an anti-Western substitute drama-teacher and a personal-shopper-cum-TV-show-host running a nation bordering Russia and the United States with over thirty-five million citizens gaping in disbelief. Sounds like the premise of a Philip K. Dick dystopia that might list the names of overdoses on the final page. Salarying a politician’s unelected spouse raises a few issues. First off, it’s the grandest form of nepotism imaginable, given the person appointing or hiring this new bureaucrat is ultimately the hiree’s spouse (few jobs outside of Saudi Arabia are secured with an “I do”). Never mind the ethical issues involved; should Justin decide that Sophie has become a bore, drop her like a bad habit, and remarry, then does the Canadian government have to salary the new squeeze? Will they have to pay Sophie severance? After defending Sophie by comparing her to royalty and insinuating the idiocy of the common man, Fraser then gets to the nut of the argument—perhaps not his argument, but certainly one that he raises if only by accident: the problem of “unpaid spousal-support systems” (recall Income Splitting). Should all stay-at-home spouses be paid by the state for supporting their significant others? Or just those spouses banging power for spotlight? And if all stay-at-home spouses deserve remuneration for their time, loyalty, and assistance, how ought the government fit the bill? This power-play and Sophie’s manufactured dilemma is not about Canada or about Canadians. It’s about the Trudeaus colonizing Ottawa with the vigor of the Clintons and the subtlety of a hurricane. Fraser’s puff piece, further evidence that print media is doomed, glosses over the fact that the Trudeaus already have two “domestic support staff” and a chef who could make the Sunshine List with what they’re paid. Chock those expenses up to prime ministerial benefits. Conferring prime ministerial benefits to an apolitico who never ran for office, and certainly has not secured the tacit approval and consent of the Canadian people, is however an egregious error. Kate Capshaw doesn’t get an Oscar nod for Spielberg’s work on Schindler’s List; Bruce Ambrose doesn’t get to bill his union dues via Rona Ambrose to the feds; and Sophie Trudeau doesn’t get to bilk Canadians to make a bigger name for herself. State-funded trips to the White House, servants, a lavish lifestyle comped by the federal government, and all the privileges that you could shake a stick at, are apparently not enough for the Red Queen. Oh well. It would be ill advised and regressive for the Liberals, who’d campaigned on promises of reforming the Senate by making it “more independent, less partisan,” to appoint a partisan hack to an erroneous federal position for an indefensible sum. The Canadian people shouldn’t have to pay for Sophie’s shameless self-promotion. This unofficial position is what Sophie makes it, not what the Canadian tax-payer is willing to bank-roll. Why? It’s...

Liberal Party’s Lasting Solution

Owing to the two-tier nature of this final solution, “Netflix and Kill” booths will be made available to premium one-time customers, whereby a patient sits through the first five minutes of Amy Schumer’s comedy special and then graciously receives a lethal injection.

Make Canada Great Again

This regressive left has effectually turned our great national dialogue into one long and unending speech, fraught with political correctness, anti-Semitic and anti-Christian bigotry, eugenics, espousals of invented victimization, and myriad –isms.

Literally just the picture of Crooked Hillary 200 times

Literally just the picture of Crooked Hillary 200 times

Climate Change Myths (Warning: Edgy)

Anthropocentric climate change is a real thing, but it is not emissions that are causing it. The MetaCanada research team has found with compelling evidence that there is a strong correlation towards dark skinned people and warm temperatures.

MetaCanada guide to policy – Free Trade May12

MetaCanada guide to policy – Free Trade

Article written by MetaCanada’s International Economy Expert, LordB The fast answer to any Presidential race is to say “who cares they are all really the same”. Nothing will drastically change based on who is voted in. Anyone who believes that one single President is going to fix all of the problems with the country is probably an Obama voter. All of the candidates are trash, as usual, and as a public service to you uneducated people who can barely read. I went dumpster diving through these jerk offs policies and here is what I found. None of these people support free trade. The Bern is outright belligerent about it and his voting history speaks for that. He has stated that there has never been a single trade agreement the USA has negotiated that he’s been comfortable with. I guess he would much rather sleep in an overpriced piece of crap American car than an imported one. This guy voted against NAFTA, CAFTA, PNTR with China, and has vocally opposed the TPP. The Bern shits manifestos and eats red for breakfast. The Bern is definitely not wavering from his horrible policies, he is that cranky old guy at the home that would rather sit in his own piss and shit than get cleaned up. Billary is all over the map, and really just says what she thinks people want to hear. She fails to realize that all that people want to hear is for her to shut the fuck up. Billary says she wants to be a pro-American trader. What the fuck is that? The whole point of trade is to make you better off. Apparently dealing with the economic heavy weight of Canada in NAFTA has left a bad taste in her mouth as...

A History of Cuckery – Canadian News Stories about Donald Trump May11

A History of Cuckery – Canadian News Stories about Donald Trump

  Now that he’s the presumptive nominee for the Republican Party (and tied with Hilary Clinton in Presidential polling), Canadian news outlets are forced to stop treating Donald Trump as a joke. But that hasn’t always been the case; the Canadian media not only didn’t believe Trump could win, they did it with such a smug arrogance that makes you wonder why tax-payers give them so much money. Without any further adieu let’s look back at some of the best of Canadian cuckery. CBC The Cuck Broadcasting Corporation (Justin Trudeau’s personal media outlet) has always been the worst offender with “pundits” from both the left and the CBC right (re: the left) treating Trump as badly as you would treat a suicide bomber who set his device to “implode.”   Fascist or not, it’s time Republicans face their Trump problem  – Dec 9, 2015 “There has been earnest public debate in the last few weeks about whether Trump is a fascist. A fascist!” “Trump is a stain on the Republican Party brand that will spread further if it’s not cleaned up fast. So the party needs to get busy.” “Who knows where “Republicans for George Pataki”, or for Rand Paul, or even Jeb!, might go if let loose, but it’s time to find out.  It’s a reasonable guess that they won’t go to Trump. His candidacy has become unsustainable. ”     Trump trouble not limited to the United States – Dec 16, 2015 “Instead of arguing for more inclusion and equality in the electoral and economic processes, Trump’s supporters prefer channeling their frustrations through a voice that blames immigrants, Muslims, and gays for the country’s systemic problems.” “This is why Trump’s right wing base is so dangerous, not just for the U.S., but also for Canada and the rest of the Western world.”...

RANT: Canada will never be a green-energy superpower

A lot of things about the LEAP manifesto are retarded. In fact, literally the entire thing is.

A Canadian is a Canadian is a Canadian… unless they’re aboriginal...

Let’s face it, there are two classes of Canadians and it has nothing to do with dual-citizenship.

New DNA evidence reveals a shocking twist in Jian Ghomeshi trial Apr14

New DNA evidence reveals a shocking twist in Jian Ghomeshi trial

Earlier today MetaCanada.ca received shocking new DNA evidence related to the Jian Ghomeshi trial. The former Q “star” (now embroiled in controversy over a recent legal decision to dismiss assault charges) was originally thought to be raised in a Muslim household by Iranian parents. MetaCanada.ca has received new information that strongly suggests Jian Ghomeshi was not, in fact, of Iranian descent, but is actually Syrian.

CBC releasing new Syrian Refugee App

The CBC is not taking long to spend that extra $650 million dollars the Liberal government allotted to them in the recent budget. Next Friday CBC is releasing the Syrian Refugee 2016 app for iPhone and Android devices. Riding on the success of feel-good, low quality, “news” stories such as “Syrian refugees experience hockey for first time”, “Refugee family checks out Tim Hortons for the first time”, “Syrian children takes first toboggan ride”, and the very popular “Syrians skate on ice for the first time” this app appears destined for success. The premise of the app is simple: first you choose any one of 25,000 government sponsored refugees (more expected to be released in 2017), then you choose an activity from a list of over 300. CBC will then send a news crew out to that refugee and their family and film the family taking part in whatever activity is chosen. Want to see Syrians ride a skateboard for the first time? Hit a raccoon with their car for the first time? Awkwardly try to order something in French and have the cashier begrudgingly respond in English? It’s all available on the app. Every Syrian Refugee in Canada had to sign a contract in exchange for the large amounts of money they received upon entry to the country. This contract allows the CBC to film them at any time of day and anywhere they are. Most Canadians believe that Syria is either on a different planet or is devoid of anything that Canada has so they always believe that anytime they see a Syrian taking part in any activity, it’s their first time. However, the CBC does not have a successful history in creating mobile apps. The Hockey Night in Canada app suffered many glitches and...

Canadian Solidarity

In a sign of national solidarity Canadians stood up for one another across the country. In a singular voice Canadians shouted “We have had enough. We will no longer purchase foreign tomatoes and foreign ketchup.”