Elementary, Watson, touring eastern Canada this Spring


If there’s something Professor Benjamin Levin and Phillip Nolan both know—besides the inner-logic of a deviant, vile, and horrible mind—it is how to rock and roll.

Last week, when the foreknowledge of Phillip Nolan’s misdeeds caught the attention of the PMO, Prime Minister Stephen Harper summarily dismissed him from their Celtic band, Herringbone. Despite Nolan’s protest and claim that “it’s hard to find a good Celtic drummer who’ll show up to practice,” Harper insisted that his dismissal was final. Nolan’s Pearl drum kit was returned to him accompanied by a strongly-worded restraining order.

Nolan, publicly scandalized for allegedly assaulting a minor, subsequently took to Kijiji and Craigslist in search of musical escape. After three posts and a conversation with a brooding guitarist from Toronto, “Elementary, Watson” was formed.

Benjamin Levin, former Kathleen-Wynne-advisor and Canada Research Chair in Education Leadership and Policy at OISE, had been charged with multiple counts of child exploitation and child-pornography offences this past summer. His international infamy, for [allegedly] not only possessing child porn but creating it, made his pet musical project seem like a lost cause. “I thought all my money and time would be tied up proving my dubious innocence, but Rob Ford and the whole Duffy scandal took the heat off me, let me regroup…Enabled us to team up!”

Since December, Levin’s been playing acoustic shows and open mics throughout the Toronto area to semi-empty rooms, stained by the smell of despair and melting plastic. Late January, he went on hiatus, after being chased out of the El Mocambo by an angry fan who accused Levin of changing the signature name of Clapton’s heart-throb “Layla” to “Lolita.” Even with his hobby still alive, he was ostensibly bum-out of luck.

Levin’s luck changed late last week when he received Nolan’s message: “I really love the lo-fi, juvenile sound. Message me back if you’d like to jam, and massage my back if you’d like my jam.”

The duo is set to tour as early as this Spring. While they’ve been black-listed by most Canadian and American radio stations (meaning their single “You’re Too Old For Me” won’t get much airtime), both are confident that their sound will reach a younger generation.

When asked about how they settled on their band’s name, Elementary, Watson’s drummer, Nolan, commented: “we originally wanted ‘White Stripes’ because of our prison garb, but it had already been taken. We’re both such big fans of Arthur Conan Doyle, that a Sherlock reference just made sense.”

Expect to see Elementary, Watson at a prison near you!