poll-Oct14

We’re almost there, folks. It is finally, finally almost over. Thank God.

That said, these polls are insanity!!!!!

Stephen Harper and his Conservative Party have seen their lead of 54% cut down to 33.3%. No longer in majority territory, Harper has gone to great new lengths to regain his lead over the past week. Speaking in Edmonton, Harper appeared at a rally wearing a niqab, which sparked varied reactions from the crowd and a vicious response on Twitter.

harper-niqab

 

Continuing their sustained upward trend, Justin Trudeau‘s Liberals shot up to 33.3% this week. When asked what the rise can be attributed to, Gerald Butts cited a ProgressiveNeckbeard.com survey which polled that a stunning 86% of Canadian neckbeards are now “likely” or “very likely” to actually get out of their mom’s basement and head to the polls on October 19.

The latest in a series of increasingly desperate attempts to differentiate himself from Trudeau found NDP leader Thomas Mulcair claiming that the ‘Leap Manifesto’ didn’t go far enough, and that an NDP government would immediately take ownership of all oil and gas companies. He also promised free tampons for all Canadian females. When asked if post-op transexuals would also receive free tampons, he evaded the question. These announcements resonated with a large number of people, as the NDP also shot up to 33.3% this week, leaving us in a 3-way dead heat with just five days left till Election Day! 

Gilles Duceppe‘s brief bump in the polls appears to have dissipated as his Bloc Quebecois party now sits at precisely 0% support.

Elizabeth May appears to have recovered from last week’s full frontal bush incident, rising from -2% to a nice round 0%.

This election is going to come right down to the wire. Stay tuned to MetaCanada for full coverage!