The alt-right, a German term (das alt-reich) that made it into mainstream North American dialect refers to a diverse group of people from all races, religions, and genders that share one thing in common…
They’re all white nationalist fascist Nazis.
You don’t want to be a fascist nazi do you? Alt-righters are all around you, plotting for the destruction of honest politicians like Crooked Hillary Clinton, Angela “Murderer of Europe” Merkle, and Barack Hussain Obama. They communicate to each other using a number of secret codes like drinking milk or posting pictures of cartoon frogs on the internet. Noted alt-right enthusiast Mike Cernovich was recently spotted at the White House flashing the “OK for White Supremacy” symbol. If you see any of these activities please, for your own safety, retreat to the nearest safe space and inform the people there about your triggered status. I can’t emphasize enough that safety is your number one priority whenever dealing with the alt-right.
Common Alt-Right Symbols
If you want to know how to spot an alt-right person, so you can throw a brick or a bottle at them, or gather their scalps like any tolerant progressive would, learn to identify these common fascist gestures, it could save your life:
Waving, aka the “white nationalist hand shuffle” is the most common form of greeting for the alt-right and you will often see white nationalists identify each other in a crowd using this gesture. The left-to-right movement symbolizes that the person “left” mainstream society “to” join the “alt-right” and the five fingers pointed upwards identifies the five words of the alt-right battle cry: “Make White America Great Again.”
Thumbs up aka the “Will of God” is a reference to the fact that men used to be able to beat their wives with a stick no wider than their thumb. Alt-righters want to have that right back and this symbol indicates that they approve of something said to the same degree they approve of beating their wives with a stick. The thumb is pointing towards the sky to indicate they get this authority from God (when pointed downwards the authority comes from the devil).
Finger gun is a gesture often see at work when an employee did a good job. The boss will form his fingers in the shape of a gun and pretend to shoot at the worker who does not get hurt. The symbolism could not be more clear: because you helped the white race fellow fascist, you are immune even to bullets. Sometimes the boss will do it to a female or minority worker and the symbolism is equally clear: because of the rules in place right now, I cannot kill you, but once the alt-right takes control, these fingers will fire real bullets.
White blood is a hand symbol which originated in Nazi Germany in the late 1950s and the clear message is that white blood should not be tainted with the blood of other races. While not common, in the early 1990s in big city America it was everywhere. To make matters worse, the alt-right Nazis who use this symbol used to target the handicapped (aka the “cripples” or “Crips”) because they didn’t want their physical disabilities to enter the quote unquote “white gene pool”.
It is recommended you phone the authorities if you see anyone make any of these gestures as it could be an indication of a white supremacist gathering. Note, please do not call the police as that will almost certainly lead to the murder of an innocent black person.
Licence to Shill used to enjoy high-fiving his friends during sporting events until he realized that high-fiving is actually a two-person team joinder of the Hail Hitler Nazi Salute.